I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
