it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Barsexuality is the new black.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
