Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
