Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
