You can't motorboat a personality
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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