We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
