Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
