You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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