woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
