she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
