Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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