I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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