is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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