oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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