Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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