ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize