? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
