only if we run a train.
done.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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