According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
