i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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