Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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