He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
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Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
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I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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