I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
