Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You made out with two different species that night
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
