Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
