i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
