he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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