Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
