And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I am mentally ready for anal.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
