I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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