i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
