I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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