Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
