Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
