this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
