Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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