We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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