It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
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so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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