I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my mouth tastes like poor choices
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize