why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
