How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I CAN MOONWALK!
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize