We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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