In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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