The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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