don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Four minutes until I can fart!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
