when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
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