Need sex. Gaining weight.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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