just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
