You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't deserve a penis
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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