dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize