I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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