The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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