none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
