i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
