I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
